an adjustment.

So i realize that my last post sounded pretty negative. 
I went to bed and thought about it for a while...
I, myself, have been pretty negative. 

I think when you move to a new place you go through these different stages of emotion. 

1.
The first stage is the moving in stage-
you're excited because you're in a new town and you don't know where anything is and everything is new... you're just happy. 

2.
The second stage is the adjustment phase. 
You're slowly getting to know the street names and the people you work with, 
you get invited to happy hour and you're in on the gossip. you're still pretty happy.

3.
The third stage is the "what the hell am i doing" phase. 
This is where all the fun starts. This is when it sets in that this whole moving across the country thing is for real. There's no going back now.. you're a little more sad, depressed, pissed off than happy. You start to look at old pictures and stalk your buddies on facebook.. 

you just all of a sudden wish you could go back to where you were. 

It's a terrible feeling. 
it's like you start to hate the people you miss the most, just because there's no way of being with them, it's unexplainable. 

4.
The fourth stage is the "be where you are" stage.
There is no way to ever be happy in life if you always wish you were doing something else. 
I don't care if you move every other week or if you've never moved at all...

you absolutely have to find happiness where you are. 
Something... anything counts. 
Find a new secret spot or try out a brand new restaurant. 

it's perfectly fine to have ambitions and goals to move to a new town. that's different. 

but to get to where you want to go, you must begin with where you are. 

Anyway,
so now i think i'm in between the third and fourth stage. 
I miss my friends a lot, but i'm starting to see the beauty in this little town. 

I think it helps that i've started riding my bike to work every day. 
There's just something about being the transmission behind your own transportation, 
on your bike, YOU ARE THE BOSS, and you can go places you just can't with a 2-ton can of steel attached to you. 

In the morning I get to just be there, driving downtown, everyone just waking up..  and I have to be fully aware of everything around me.
or i'll die. seriously. 

But for real y'all... it's like a dog with it's head out the window, 
it's freedom. 

My job was really getting me down. 
It just wasn't what I expected it to be...
but then I realized,

it  is  what  you  make  it. 

I had to put everyone else's negative comments aside and make up my own. When you're starting somewhere new, it's so easy to formulate your own opinion based on someone else's. 

You absolutely have to start fresh, just like everything else when you move. You have to start with blank walls and an empty closet. Eventually, you take on your own perception of what's going on around you and before you know it, you've made the place your own. 




by the way,

.....I found my skirt :)