Do it yourself

Every day we make choices that affect our entire day...

We choose what we want to think about, we choose where we put our emotions and our energy.
That means you have control over way more than you think you do.

As humans, we are naturally defensive.
We naturally want to protect ourselves from harm and danger,
so when something or someone hurts us, you better believe we stand and speak up!

Lately, I've been trying to step back and really analyze my emotions. Why do I feel that way? Basically, we should all ask ourselves "why does this upset me?" and then we should personally take care of that.

I've discovered that I often blame other people for my emotions,
that just sounds silly. Sure, the emotions can be sparked by something someone said, but I need to take care of that myself.

Since everyone has a different life journey, a different personality that makes them tick,
what bothers me isn't going to bother the person next to me. Same with the things that we say... What may sound reasonable for me, may sound completely off the wall to the other person.

I can't speak for anyone else, but I am constantly trying to figure myself out.
I know no one is perfect, but I always strive to be my best self. I can't ask that of anyone else, or even expect that from anyone else... but I feel like when I know myself, and what makes me tick, that helps me to better understand other people.

I face an internal battle of stubbornness.

I see it in myself at work, in my relationships, in public...
It's like in my mind I have a certain way that I would do something,
and if someone doesn't do it that way, or does it a different way..
WHOA.
I get disappointed. So, in the end I get upset.

When I take the time to really think about why I am upset, it's much easier to get over it and continue with my day.

For an Example:
Yesterday Matthew didn't call me five times like I usually like him too ;)
(Hey, he was in Africa for ten months, I like to talk!)
Point is, I got upset...
and when he did call, I didn't want to answer because of my stubbornness.

When I thought about it, it didn't really make sense. I was upset because he didn't call, but when he did call, I didn't want to answer. What the hell?!

I told you I was stubborn.

In my head I stepped back and thought about the situation I was in,
And I decided to get over it. The guy was spending the day with his family having fun! I wanted to hear all about his day, not punish him and make him feel bad for being busy. That's soooo stupid. And ultimately, it was my personal issue that I was turning into a personality fault for him.

So, I answered the phone and got to hear all about Matthew's day, and he got to hear about mine-- and I went to sleep with a smile on my face instead of feeling bad.  

When we step back and look at the situation, usually it isn't as bad as it seems, or it's not even close to what it seems. I know it helps for me to hear the problem out loud.

So, I recommend doing that.
Before you waste time and energy by being upset,
just say how you feel and why you feel that way out loud.

If it still sounds reasonable, address yourself FIRST.
Maybe you're like me and have personal reasons you are the way you are, reasons that shouldn't be blamed on someone else.
If the problem still isn't solved,
I think then it's time to involve the other person.

One thing that has been brought to my attention is that I don't communicate as well as I should.
Communication is so important. It's important to get straight to the point of why you are upset, that way the other end isn't left guessing, and you don't get upset for them not being able reading your mind.

We only have so many days on this planet,
and the relationships that we have with everyone are so important.
Let's start with ourselves, and then move outward.