by myself....
You know what's out West?
Wide, wide... open spaces.
You know what's in your head after driving across the state of Kansas?
Even more wide open spaces.
Spending over 30 hours in your car and two nights in a random hotel room by yourself does things to you.
Not only do you go through a lot of Marlboros (sorry..), and learn every song on the radio, but you have a solitary freedom like nothing you've ever felt before.
When you take everything away and see what's left,
you are left with the only thing you know.
You.
At first I was scared,
but once I got going,
I realized I wasn't alone at all, there was nothing to be afraid of.
I believe everything happens for a reason,
1,431 miles...
1,431 beautiful reasons.
I haven't talked to God in a while,
but just like all of my other best friends,
we can always pick up where we left off.
I feel like life is constantly putting me in situations where I have to rely on myself for my own happiness. Aren't we all?! God has given me the people and the memories I need to grow, but still... it's usually left up to me to decide what to do with these skills i've been given.
I know this may sound silly to some,
but I feel like last year was my "year without God."
I know this isn't possible because of course, God is always with you.
But, Bear with me.
Last year I stopped going to church for the first time in 20 years.
Last year I stepped away from what used to be the biggest part of my life, and I know I can thank God for that.
When you step back and look at a situation, you usually see the bigger picture.
You concentrate less on the smaller details, and you can instead see these in all of their entirety.
God places desires in your heart, dreams in your head... motivation in your spirit.
Not everyone believes this, but I do.
Stepping back, I realized how much I need him to be the person I am meant to be.
God loves you for who you are because he made you that way.
I am a girl with ambition, I have dreams and goals.
My whole life i've had extraordinary desires to see the world, starting with the hearts of others.
I didn't get this way by not believing in something.
Everyone needs something to believe in,
This year i've realized that I need God in order to believe in myself.
"Don't you worry your pretty little mind,
People throw rocks at things that shine.
and Life makes love look hard,
The stakes are high, the road is rough,
but this love is ours."
Life, love, and happiness are what you make it.
Keep on believing,
life doesn't stop and neither should you.
Hold on to those little details that make up the big picture.
One mile at a time,
You're gonna make it.
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