the butterfly effect

There is a little bit of magic behind every Sunday.

I see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on.

Alone time, a lot of it.

At the time, it sucked. Now, I give thanks.

I guess that's how every event goes in life,

while we're in the moment we always think we could be better...

When the moment is gone,

we realize the magnitude of that moment.

There is purpose in where you are,

and those little moments what we wish would fly by..

they brought you here.

The tiniest things that happen to you,

they make up your big story.

It's called the butterfly effect.

In church today, we talked about how 1 man led 80 men to conquer 400 men and how that changed the entire world. One mans choice to be brave changed history for forever.

Never underestimate a smile you share with a stranger, a door you hold open, a hand that you lend, a decision you make, a thought you have...

Don't stop believing or trying because one day, your efforts will be evident in ways you could never imagine.

So, I spent my Saturday night making cupcakes and video chatting with my best friends from high school.

You know, your college friends may know who you are, but only your high school friends know why. That is something special that should always be held on to. 

There's a girl that I used to know,

We were each others best friends, we were each others best enemies.

It was one of those things you couldn't live with, but you damn sure couldn't live without.

I just want to take a second to thank her.

I want to thank her for always challenging me, while at the same time comforting me.

I want to thank her for sticking up for me every time I had to back down. I want to thank her for teaching me how to be strong, not just for others, but for myself. She taught me the importance of a personality. And because of her, I have one. I have a life that I am proud of because she pushed me every single day to be true to myself.

To this day, she still motivates me to keep on keepin' on...

"You just need to enjoy the journey you are on because it is making you such a well-rounded person. I see a down-to-earth girl who wants to use the senses God gave her to experience the world...Rachel, You didn't fall off the deep-end, you jumped."



I love you!

I went to church today :)

And you know what?! It made my heart so happy.

You are always in the perfect place at the perfect time,

but man it is so nice when you enjoy where you are.





take everything away and see whats left.

I recently drove across the country,
by myself....

You know what's out West?
Wide, wide... open spaces.
You know what's in your head after driving across the state of Kansas?
Even more wide open spaces.

Spending over 30 hours in your car and two nights in a random hotel room by yourself does things to you.
Not only do you go through a lot of Marlboros (sorry..), and learn every song on the radio, but you have a solitary freedom like nothing you've ever felt before.

When you take everything away and see what's left,
you are left with the only thing you know.
You.

At first I was scared,
but once I got going,
I realized I wasn't alone at all, there was nothing to be afraid of.

I believe everything happens for a reason,
1,431 miles...
1,431 beautiful reasons.

I haven't talked to God in a while,
but just like all of my other best friends,
we can always pick up where we left off.

I feel like life is constantly putting me in situations where I have to rely on myself for my own happiness. Aren't we all?! God has given me the people and the memories I need to grow, but still... it's usually left up to me to decide what to do with these skills i've been given.

I know this may sound silly to some,
but I feel like last year was my "year without God."
I know this isn't possible because of course, God is always with you.
But, Bear with me.

Last year I stopped going to church for the first time in 20 years.
Last year I stepped away from what used to be the biggest part of my life, and I know I can thank God for that.

When you step back and look at a situation, you usually see the bigger picture.
You concentrate less on the smaller details, and you can instead see these in all of their entirety.

God places desires in your heart, dreams in your head... motivation in your spirit.
Not everyone believes this, but I do.
Stepping back, I realized how much I need him to be the person I am meant to be.

God loves you for who you are because he made you that way.

I am a girl with ambition, I have dreams and goals.
My whole life i've had extraordinary desires to see the world, starting with the hearts of others.
I didn't get this way by not believing in something.

Everyone needs something to believe in,
This year i've realized that I need God in order to believe in myself.

"Don't you worry your pretty little mind,

People throw rocks at things that shine.

and Life makes love look hard,

The stakes are high, the road is rough,

but this love is ours."

Life, love, and happiness are what you make it.

Keep on believing,

life doesn't stop and neither should you.

Hold on to those little details that make up the big picture.

One mile at a time,

You're gonna make it.



new

Every now and then life throws change in our faces. Most of the time we don't see it coming.

 I think it's worse when we do.

Change is always scary; it's something different.

But being able to accept these changes, fearless, staring them right in the face...

That's where strength comes from.

When you take away your comfort and mold into your new kind of happiness, knowing your heart will never be the same, that's strength.

Being able to close a chapter and start a new one,

Well, that's what makes us who we are.

& I'm gonna love you through it.