between how it is and how it should be

where can you run to escape from yourself?
where you gonna go?
where you gonna go?




How about we take a walk outside.

I am so thankful to live in these mountains.

I am so happy that it is November.

Scared, but so happy.

Lately, I think it's the little things that mean the most.

An "i miss you"

A "thank-you"

An "I'm proud of you."

Those things are really nice,

Especially when you feel like you work really hard and no one notices.

I think we should all practice being proud of who we are,

we don't need words of approval I suppose, but its always nice. 

This is Lauren.

Lauren is my best friend. 

I am so thankful to have her.

She knows every little thing about me, and is still friends with me.

And...

We have definitely already made plans to bury a few bodies.

:)

&& we are obsessed.

I have a good story to tell:

I talk to people for a living. I also simply scan groceries, I like the talking to people more. 

Last Halloween, some friends and I were all dressed up in our Halloween costumes and decided it would be a great idea to ride the Cat Tran around campus. 

Our driver was a really nice lady, she was laughing right along with us the whole time.

She came into the store yesterday,

I recognized her and brought up the events of last halloween.

She looked at me and said: "Are you little red riding hood?"

I laughed and said "yes ma'am, that was me!"

She started crying and said:

"You saved my life that night, I was considering suicide until you and your friends came along."

That was the first and only time I have ever ridden the Cat Tran.

....

When I was fifteen years old my step-dad committed suicide.

And then I had to watch my mom suffer, I had to watch her want to die herself.

Suicide is something that I have never quite understood. Its something that I try not to think about but it happens.

Since then, there has always been a tiny part of me that hasn't quite gotten over it.

We meet people every day, we walk passed them on the sidewalk, we run into them at the grocery store...

We never know what anyone else is going through, we never know what they are debating in their heart.

I think it's important to show people the very best of you because... you might be saving someone's life. Which in turn, may save someone else's life, who may save someone else's life. 

We are where we are for a reason.