ti yrt tsuj.

Today on my run I saw a baby bird trying to fly. Out of all of the things i've witnessed nature accomplish, this was by far one of the most amazing. That baby bird had so much determination and faith. Possibly, more than I could ever have. 


My horoscope this morning said: 
Let yourself be inspired by a bashful person who's breaking out of his or her shell. 


Mission accomplished. :)


Funny story, 
I found a feather that I liked on the trail, it reminded me of that baby bird. I put the feather in my shirt since I didn't have any pockets. I started itching like crazy on my back. Later when I got home, I looked in the mirror and I had these huge welts all over my back from where my tank top was. I found the feather, then remembered, I'm allergic to bird flumes. 


That little bird reminded me of myself, I'm pretty new to the whole running world. After completing my 5k last weekend under my predicted time, I was ecstatic. I think people should learn to set goals for themselves. It feels so much better when you reach them, even better, when you exceed them. 
I think life's best challenges are the ones that you give yourself.

fear is a friend that is misunderstood.

if you never try to do something, you'll never know you can do it.

be your own best competitor, the rest doesn't matter. 

I get kinda jealous of people who know what they want to do, who know exactly where they feel at home.

I've never felt at home any where, i've never felt like I knew I could stay in that one place for a long period of time and be perfectly content. This girl? She's always wanted to escape. I don't remember looking out at the ocean, or getting to the top of the mountain and feeling complete. It used to do it for me, but it fades away. The only solution I have to this is to keep on traveling. To keep seeing, to keep experiencing. That's why I went 500 miles away for college, 500 more miles away for my summer vacation. It satisfies me. I like stripping everything that I know away because I always find myself, I always find just myself. The raw, weak, vulnerable thing left out in the open. This makes me stronger, this make me who I am. 
just like that little bird.

dawn.

20 miles was a great idea.

Today I let small thing really get to me, I let the situation get the best of me and I shouldn't have.

This life that we have is so precious and so...nonreplaceable.

And you know what?

Tomorrow is always the beginning of something brand new. 

It just felt silly for me to be upset about petty things when I was thinking about this..

Life starts over every day. 

Don't take it too seriously.

Colorado has brought many great new things to my life: my bike. 

It challenges me and takes me places that I probably couldn't get to on my feet or in my car. 

It also helps me relieve stress by taking me miles away into fields, mountains, flowers, flooded trails, baby deer :) and awesome bridges.

oh, the places you will go.

It's pretty noble and deserves a name.

Ideas?

I wasn't finished.

its like my world spins in a different direction. 

This morning I went to church.

This morning God showed me exactly what I needed to see, like he always does.

Every single one of us have a specific purpose in life to be fulfilled. Isn't that exciting?

Our passion is his purpose.

I just want to remind everyone that no matter how far away you get, it's always a short walk back. I know how easy it is to forget that because I forget it time after time again. 

"I can see a light that is coming, for the heart that holds on."

let that be enough

lyin’ here with you so close to me

it’s hard to fight these feelings when it feels so hard to breathe

caught up in this moment

caught up in your smile

i’ve never opened up to anyone

so hard to hold back when i’m holding you in my arms

we don’t need to rush this

let’s just take this slow

just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight

just a touch in the fire burning so bright

and i don’t want to mess this thing up

i don’t want to push too far

just a shot in the dark that you just might

be the one i’ve been waiting for my whole life

so baby i’m alright, with just a kiss goodnight

i know that if we give this a little time

it will only bring us closer to the love we wanna find

it’s never felt so real, no it’s never felt so right

just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight

just a touch in the fire burning so bright

and i don’t want to mess this thing up

i don’t want to push too far

just a shot in the dark that you just might

be the one i’ve been waiting for my whole life

so baby i’m alright, with just a kiss goodnight

no i don’t want to say goodnight

i know it’s time to leave, but you’ll be in my dreams

tonight

tonight

tonight

just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight

just a touch in the fire burning so bright

and i don’t want to mess this thing up

i don’t want to push too far

just a shot in the dark that you just might

be the one i’ve been waiting for my whole life

so baby i’m alright, oh, let’s do this right, with just a kiss goodnight

with a kiss goodnight

kiss goodnight

Its like summer in your mouth

 "Challenges from others are inspiring, they give them to us because they think we can’t, or they’d like to see us accomplish a goal. But challenges from ourselves to ourselves are Hard, we make them because well…something in life has made us feel like we can’t. The moment we can prove ourselves wrongs, we grow three feet taller and that small person inside of us that tells us we can’t, dies a little each time we prove that we can!"   -C.W.


Those three words, in the right combination, from the mouth of the right person, are just enough to make me stop breathing.

We'll do it all

Everything

On our own

We don't need

Anything

Or anyone

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know

How to say

How I feel

Those three words

Are said too much

They're not enough

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told

Before we get too old

Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time

Chasing cars

Around our heads

i need your grace

to remind me

to find my own

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we’re told

Before we get too old

Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am

All that I ever was

Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where

Confused about how as well

Just know that these things will never change for us at all

 

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

What do we do when we can breathe again?
Your whole world spins differently. 
Your whole heart beats in a different rhythm.
Everything that mattered...doesn't.
What if this means your search is over?
What if that was your last first kiss?
What if the last person you'd ever expect to fall in love with you, does?
Are you going to be ready?


We're never ready, 
Because it's never expected.

Great things are almost never expected, especially the most greatest.

But, it's the possibility and the knowledge that these great things are out there, somewhere..waiting to be discovered, unknowingly..

waiting.

Guess we just need to learn how to embrace it.

once a month...

There's just something about waiting in line at the grocery store for 23 minutes for a 54 count box of tampons, 3 different types of candy, and a Cosmo magazine. There's something about opening a good bottle of red wine and heating up some Thai food from the night before. There's something about being a girl. You know what? I kinda like it. Poor boys, they never get to pamper themselves. 


Today was a great day, an excellent day.
Colorado is becoming more and more of a home for me.


Kelly is becoming one of my greatest friends, too bad she didn't have a daughter, I bet we would be best friends. Thats ok, I have her.

Something about me:
When I am indifferent about something, I try to get to know it. I try to see it from every angle so I can understand it.


There's a resident at work who everyone is indifferent about. I never felt that way about her...ever. Then again, she's always been nice to me. Anyway, today I had lunch with her. That was the first time I bought meat---fried meat at that---in a long time, the first time i'd been in a Kentucky Fried Chicken in even longer time. The smile on her face when I brought her some "real" food was completely worth it. We sat and chatted for an hour about love and loss, life and death. While she was picking the coleslaw out of her teeth, I focused on absorbing everything, I didn't want to miss anything. She described to me the most traumatic times in her life, "You know, there are some times in your life that are so vividly marked in your memory, you remember every detail. Then again, I don't even remember what I had for breakfast this morning."  I looked at her fading brown eyes and knew exactly what she was talking about. Just then, we made a connection. 


Wouldn't it be nice if everyone took the time to get to know people? If everyone was simply interested? 
One of my passions in life is knowing peoples story. I want to know what throughout their life has made them who they are, good or bad. 


Open your eyes and never miss a thing.
Make time, take your time, take THE time.

  Having something great to look forward to is the most amazing feeling EVER. Especially when that something is my Matthew. Only a month until I say hello, only a month until we say goodbye. Time goes by so fast, especially when you want it to go slow. I don't want to say goodbye, I don't want to..
I need to work on not being selfish. It's hard to get excited about Africa. ...Africa. 
  But you know, I know that no matter how far away we are from each other, when I close my eyes, we're always together. I know this is worth holding on to, I know he is worth it, I know we are worth it.

Hi, summer. I'm so glad you're here.

be sure of what you're fighting for

hold on to what means the most to you

create your own path

don't take life too seriously, it starts over every day.

find something to believe in and then give it your whole heart.

want something.

figure yourself out.

work hard, it always pays off.

let l<3ve grow.

But you and I now
We can be alright
Just hold on to what we know is true
You and I now
Though it's cold inside
Feel the tide turning

And know that if I knew
All of the answers I would
Not hold them from you'd
Know all the things that i'd know
We told each other, there is no other way

time to open up

You're guiltless and free 
I hope you take a piece of me with you 
And there's things I'd like to do 
That you don't believe in 
I would like to build something 
But you'll never see it happen 
And there's this burning 
Like there's always been 
I've never been so alone 
And I've...I've never been so alive

Sometimes in the silence, you finally hear everything. 

There's not a more beautiful thing than someone being themself.

Always, just be yourself.

I think people can tell when someone isn't being real. Eventually, the mask will fade and your true colors will start to bleed through. I also thing it's really important to embrace life. Take advantage of all of the opportunities that life throws at you. You never know what you're going to take away from that experience. 

I like being out of my comfort zone, it shows you who you really are.
The things that we're afraid of, are going to show us what we're made of in the end.

give me a little more you.

Right now,
I want to show me any way you can that you need me like I need you.
Right now, 
I'm feeling sorry for myself because I can't do this alone.
Right now,
I'm too afraid to ask.
Right now, 
I want you to just know.
Right now, 
I need you to give me a little more you.

34 miles

I told myself to remember this moment.

"Too often, the thing you want most is the one thing you can't have. Desire leaves us heartbroken, it wears us out. Desire can wreck your life. But as tough as wanting something can be, the people who suffer the most are those who don't know what they want." -Damn you, Grey's Anatomy.

rewards.

Any one who knows me can attest to this:
Offer me food, I'll say: "Oh! Thanks, but I'm not hungry."
Stick a plate of anything with calories in front of me and it's gone in a matter of minutes. 


Everyone always wants what is handed to them, it's so much easier to accept when you don't have to ask for it. 


Thats my freaking problem. It's so much easier to accept what is right in front of you. It's the willingness that the presenter has that is so flattering. You didn't have to ask them to do what they do, they just do it.


I understand suffering, I understand why we suffer. We suffer because suffering bring perseverance and with perseverance comes hope. But, what's the point of making someone suffer when they have nothing left to gain from this life? What's the point of keeping them hanging on. They are confused, can't speak, can't use there sensory system, can't recognize their family members, they are suffering. Why? 

Just let her go.

don't let me let you go

I'm still.
I'm too still.


I've predetermined everything thats going to happen before it happens, based on past experiences. Can I just say, FUCK past experiences?? Why is it so hard for me to accept something brand new? I can never just let something be new, I turn it old so fast. 


Oh, Brother. 


I wish I didn't disconnect myself, I wish you were around to know that this is when I need you to pull me back. I miss you. It's starting to get easy, too easy. I can feel myself about to be hurt and I run. 

Me & You, We need a breath of fresh air. 

For the record, I'm sorry i've been replacing you.

get lost.

my rehab.